You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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