Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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