She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
