Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
