Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
