And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
