chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
