Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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