Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
