before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i think my mom watched the whole time
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
