gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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