Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
