Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
