My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
