so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Randomize
