i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
