i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
