There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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