it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
