I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
