He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
