'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Randomize
