didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i think im in europe. pls send help
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
