YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
