it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
