why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
