Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you never un-have a 4some
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
