He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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