thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just gift wrapped bread.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
