Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
