Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
