he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
