i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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