smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
