thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
