Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
