He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
