just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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