Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
