I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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