Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
