You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
