i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
