I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
