so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
