does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
