So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
