Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
