so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
