We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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